manga in progress

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RyRy

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Post by RyRy on Sun Sep 09, 2012 10:50 am

So yeah, just finished up 2 pages of my manga.

manga in progress  Pictur18


manga in progress  Pictur19

So what you think?

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Post by jεnn♥ on Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:54 am

Wut's that stain..
Anyways , if you get a tablet, and learn all the basics, and download manga studio, i think you'll make a decent manga..
But it looks too similar to all those manga's ex, naruto.

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Post by RyRy on Sun Sep 09, 2012 12:23 pm

That stain was from eating some Burger King, maybe I shouldn't eat and draw at the same time.

Yeah, naruto manga is what inspired me and my friends to start doing our own manga.

All in good time.

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Post by Ci3L on Sun Sep 09, 2012 12:44 pm

The formatting is too messy and cramped, it strains the readers' eyes. Furthermore it will confuse them, as from what I can see there doesn't seem to be a specific ordering. If you're going to do it in the truest manga sense, follow their ordering from left to right. Try not to be stingy with spacing, and try not to squeeze your drawing into small little boxes.

The text bubble that you're going to use seems too boxy, which takes up too much precious illustration space, try to go for an elliptical one, use boxes only for non dialogue texts. If you're going to project agony or some kind of powerful scream (I presume from the aaaaa), use a jagged text box. However it would seem more natural if you did traditional manga style of font size reduction like AAAAA!

The flames aren't too bad, needs a bit more detail though. However the lone wing needs to be a bit more rebalanced, it seemed odd from my perspective. If you're going for the standard angel wing, I suggest you try and take a look at the anatomy of a pigeon wing; or you can draw them shoujo manga style like in Ah! Megami-sama! Don't go for the kawaii format like in pokemon though, since your manga would be shonen style.

Another thing I can point out is that you need to practice drawing folding of clothes more. The dynamics and fluttering in the second picture seemed like the two characters are wearing a hard piece of plastic over them instead of cloth.

Lastly, if this is going to be the first two pages; then your story line lack originality and that essence which captures a readers attention. Like ephemeral has pointed out, from what I can guess your manga would be like those bandwagon (I wouldn't say doujinshi since I don't recognize any of the characters) type manga which dwells on the success of established series. Like for example Melty Blood was a poor rip off from the original Shingetsutan Tsukihime manga by Type Moon. As a doujinshi it was okay, but it lacks any originality for a stand alone manga in which it was marketed

I suggest you think of a storyboard first while working on drawing clothings (which is the next hardest thing after drawing fingers). The current trend for shonen manga seems to lean towards action/adventure/comedy/ecchi like To Love Ruu ~ Darkness and Akame ga Kill. The latter, deviates from the trend a bit, it fuses hard core violence with the trappings of reality which gives the manga a sense of realism

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Post by AntiSocial on Sun Sep 09, 2012 1:20 pm

I'd recommend getting a scanner for a clearer view.

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Post by jεnn♥ on Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:10 pm

Oh and usually in manga's shading is used by tiny dots , of course it would only work if you used a program like manga studio, but yea, use a ruler to make the lines, and usually when there's some action there's usually some type of pattern of lines, and if you're gonna do coloring, only do coloring on some parts, manga is supposd to be black and white, and it saves ink (especially for copic markers)
Dont make your manga too similar to naruto cause then no one's gonna read it, or with any other..

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Post by RyRy on Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:53 pm

Hehe, I thank you for the advice, its good to have people who know there stuffs, I'm able to apply these tips to my further uses.

Anyi-Social, My scanner broke 3months ago and I probably won't get a new one till November.

Oh and Destiny, when you talk about the pattern of lines do you mean something similar to this, or no?

manga in progress  Pictur20
This drawing is still incomplete, my friend suppose to finish it sometime this week.

Again, focus on the drawing, not me.

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Post by jεnn♥ on Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:18 pm

RyRy wrote:Hehe, I thank you for the advice, its good to have people who know there stuffs, I'm able to apply these tips to my further uses.

Anyi-Social, My scanner broke 3months ago and I probably won't get a new one till November.

Oh and Destiny, when you talk about the pattern of lines do you mean something similar to this, or no?

manga in progress  Pictur20
This drawing is still incomplete, my friend suppose to finish it sometime this week.

Again, focus on the drawing, not me.
Spoiler:
manga in progress  Manga-run-toward-camera
I meant kidna like that, but it's an optional thing, depending on waht your style is,
yea, that's the only pic i could find , since I'm too busy drawing my own anime pic o_o

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Post by RyRy on Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:25 pm

Oh I see

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Post by Ci3L on Sun Sep 09, 2012 10:35 pm

the facial proportion is kinda off, the spacing on this one is a lot better than the previous one, but sill needs working on.

From previous example, I can see you're going for the american-manga style. It annoys me a bit since I'm a die hard fan of traditional manga, LOL! No offence though

On another note, I twisted my wrist on my dominant hand while out photographing in the hills, and scraped the other one badly while trying to break my fall. So this might be my last post, that's until both my hands heals up

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